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We get it.

No ketchup tastes like Heinz. It’s the Everest, the E = mc2 of tomato sauce. So we can’t blame you for loving it so much. So much, that you squeeze the bottle a tiny bit too hard, or rip the sachet with too much gusto.

And there they are.

The spills. The splats. The splotches. But, we have the solution. Unique insurance coverage for all those little oops, oh no's, and yikes! We understand the emotional and physical toll of a ketchup calamity. But we also understand that if it’s worth the risk, it has to be Heinz.

So if you find yourself in a sticky situation, know your rights. And we’ll right the wrongs.

Personal Information

Incident Details

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The claimant swings the bottle repeatedly, to push the ketchup towards the nozzle, causing the ketchup to squirt on the ceiling.

The claimant attempts a mega-squeeze of Heinz ketchup, causing ketchup to disperse in all directions.

The claimant unwittingly sits on a sachet of Heinz ketchup, causing it to explode beneath them.

The claimant applied too much pressure while opening a sachet of Heinz ketchup, causing it to squirt out unexpectedly.

The claimant accidentally bumps a glass bottle of Heinz ketchup, causing it to shatter on a hard surface.

The claimant’s angry lover applies Heinz ketchup to the claimant’s clothing, in an act of revenge.

The claimant sacrifices a sweater to enhance mediocre airplane food.

The claimant eats ketchup remains off a table after an overly enthusiastic squeeze.

The claimant attempts to squeeze the bottle with a loose nozzle, causing temporary vision impairment.

The claimant disperses ketchup droplets over self and the surrounding perimeter, in a miscalculated squeeze attempt.

The claimant discovers the spilt ketchup, but not the person who spilt it.

The claimant’s spill occurs in the great outdoors, forcing the claimant to use a leaf/leaves to remove it.

A family member of the claimant’s family creates a ketchup spill that somehow finds its way onto a feline friend.

The claimant chooses to ignore the fact that they have a noticeably large ketchup stain on themselves.

The claimant’s child learns the hard way that ketchup should be handled with care.

The claimant spills ketchup on the majority of their clothing, instantly ruining their intended look.

The claimant uses the ketchup spill as a means to leave an undesirable meal setting.

The claimant tries to pour ketchup in a moving vehicle, but doesn’t succeed in placing it correctly.

The claimant spills ketchup upon their computer and/or computer equipment, impairing its function.

The claimant’s ketchup spill beats all the odds, and lands on the only white section of the affected object.

The claimant’s ketchup spill is the first bit of bad luck, in a series of unlucky events.

The claimant somehow manages to get ketchup solely on their head, and nowhere else on their body.

The claimant spills ketchup and proceeds to walk in it, spreading the spill across a greater area.

The claimant’s young offspring use the ketchup for artistic purposes, resulting in a messy masterpiece.

The claimant finishes their meal, but is unaware that they have ketchup on or around their lips.

The claimant’s toddler decides to give a brand new couch its very first ketchup stain.

The claimant underestimates the force inside sachet and creates a panoramic art piece inside car’s interior.

The claimant attempts a gentle drizzle of ketchup over fried chicken which results in the claimant being drizzled on instead.

The claimant accidentally over-squeezes a sachet, changing the external coloring of a nearby object.

The claimant spills an unnoticeable amount of ketchup on their shoe – which they notice hours later and wonder… sho hada?

The claimant spills ketchup on their clothes precisely where a brand logo would be.

The claimant’s offspring unknowingly leaves a trace of ketchup across living room.

The claimant redecorates nearby sofa cushions with a splatter of ketchup, giving them a new, red look.

The claimant’s sauced-up meal is turned upside-down, causing the food to rest on the underlying surface.

The claimant causes a massive ketchup spill where they work, forcing them to apologize to their superior.

The claimant gets ketchup on their glasses and/or sunglasses, bringing an unwanted shade of red to their vision.

The claimant high fives a friend, not knowing that they have ketchup on their hands, making their problem someone else’s.

The claimant is a victim of a miscalculated squirting incident by a trusted friend or family member.

The claimant spills ketchup in a room that they are renting, making them feel less guilt than if the spill happened in their own residence.

The claimant squirts sauce onto another person, causing them to retaliate in the same fashion.

The claimant gets ketchup on a nearby plant or bush, making it appear as if it has red flowers.

The claimant unknowingly applies ketchup to their facial area, in a similar style to a spa treatment.

The claimant hurriedly opens a sachet while driving, causing it to spill in that dreaded little space between the seat and gear box.

The claimant accidentally applies ketchup to a nearby television remote, adding more drama than necessary.

The claimant spills the ketchup first thing during breakfast, wrecking the day ahead.

The claimant attempts to use two ketchup bottles simultaneously, but this adds far too much pressure, causing double the damage.

The claimant suddenly craves a midnight snack. In the darkness of the night, they grab what they believe to be ranch dressing. The result? A plateful of bright ketchup instead.

The claimant’s ketchup spill ends up on their earphones/headphones, resulting in them being rendered unusable until properly cleaned.

The claimant manages to spill ketchup on their car and/or house keys, causing the claimant to do an immediate napkin search.

The claimant somehow squirts the ketchup into a nearby beverage, immediately affecting its flavor, in either a good or bad way.

The claimant squirts ketchup onto their watch, causing them to freak out about it not working.

The claimant’s friend or family member does the unthinkable and dilutes the remaining ketchup in the bottle with water, without informing the claimant, causing them to drown their meal in a runny red mess.

The claimant spills ketchup onto their phone, causing the screen to remain sticky for the rest of the day.

The claimant squirts the ketchup within close proximity to their face, causing a drop splatter precisely on the tip of their nose.

The claimant squeezes the bottle upright, resulting in the ketchup splattering in a rain-like manner above them.

The claimant finds dried, crusty remains of ketchup on their clothes hours after an unfortunate squeeze.

The claimant squeezes the ketchup bottle a bit too hard. The cap, not properly secured, flies off, and a jet of ketchup shoots across the table, splattering everyone and everything in its path.

1. Ketchup Insurance only applicable to incidents that fall under one of our 57 claims, as featured on www.heinzketchupinsurance.com

2. Incidents involving Heinz ketchup qualify. Other condiments, are simply not our jam.

3. Accidents only. Intentional ketchup catastrophes are not covered and considered Heinz Ketchup Insurance fraud, and you may be found guilty by the jury of the Heinz Ketchup Tribunal.

4. Claims must be submitted within 57 hours of the incident – just because.

5. All your details will be handled in secrecy – just like our 57’ secret recipe.

We trust the above information clears up any queries you may have regarding our service, and we hope it assists you as you satisfy your ketchup cravings moving forward.

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